Storytime Sunday

This was the picture they used at her funeral.
Only two months away from graduation and the love ones who surrounded her didn’t even bother to see the warning signs. They were there, she made excuses for missing end of the year parties, quit extra curricular activities saying, “it is too hard to keep up with my course load this year with all of my AP classes.” Bridgett was pushing friends and family to make the end easier. The worst part is that they didn’t even bother to ask questions. Classmates snickered behind her back say, “what? is she suicidal or something? she USED to be fun.” The truth is, she was suicidal. Suddenly is wasn’t so funny to mention that “S word” anymore.
The initial shock brought on a wave of sadness and grief. Many cried and talked to counselors at school. Between the spasms of crying, the family went through denial as well quietly asking themselves, “why?!” and reassuring themselves she had a good life. She was considered popular, always doing various activities with friends. She had straight A’s from the beginning, as well as being accepted into the gifted program in fifth grade.
There was no  notes, no explanation in the end. The truth, that even her boyfriend will never know, was that the cause was an onset of depression from an unknown pregnancy.

If only...

Real life is proving to be too hard. There are too many factors; feelings, thoughts, other people?! In my dreams, I can be anything. If I wanted to i could fly or rule the kingdom or climb the highest point on earth. If only there weren't so many valleys in this roller coast called life. If only dreams could come true. If only...

Life Happens...

Obviously, there are good days and there are bad days. Today what a bad day. One of those so bad days I can't even put the events into words. I came up with a little idea, an exercise, using pictures and as little words as possible. I'm going to post like three or four pictures in this post, I want people to initially scroll through the pictures I think accurately describes my day and judge the crap out of me. AND THEN go back and read my captions.

No, I am NOT  a drug user. First day of my internship, my supervisor and I had to confiscate this drug paraphernalia and dismiss this women from a really good housing/ life skills program before 8am this morning. Talk about a rude awakening (in a couple senses).

I don't particularly like yelling, especially at me, I simply aim to please all people. However, working as a service desk associate I often get yelled at for things that I had no involvement in or are out of my control. This also happened to me today... it seems like with these people nothing settles them.

Yup got pulled over. Nope, didn't do anything illegal. Simply a tail light which I don't have the time to fix since places aren't open before 8am and after 10pm. Did I get a ticket? you bet, but I will disappear for my record since I will be sure to get it fixed within 24 hours and turn in the ticket.
Basically, this exercise is all about judging people by the cover. I'm working at an internship this academic year in the field of social work. If there is one complaint I hate the most, is the misconception that it is so easy to get off the system and that people are abusing their food stamps. You don't know if they have mental health, substance abuse issues. You don't know if this person is being battered or is homeless. You're just judging the person based on the food in their shopping cart.
Oops, didn't follow my own rules limiting the picture description word length. All in all, life happens, and it just so happens it kicked my butt today, while at the same time makes me thankful for what I do have.

Busy, busy, busy

School life has definitely hit the ball rolling. Literally, between class, my internship, work, housework, and homework I haven't stopped moving from one activity to the next, but to blog and sleep. Some people may look at me funny when I say that I still make time for blogging despite my schedule, but these are also people who do not appreciate the power of the internet in the same way as me. I make time for browsing social media and blogging each night because it is relaxing to me and is kind of therapeutic to me.

I have this evening routine when I get home consisting of; I pick up the house/do the dishes dishes, get my bag and clothes ready for the next day, wash my face for bed, and finally blog. Blogging at the end of this routine allows my to clear my mind of whatever has been on my mind that day, making for a better nights sleep.

Amidst the craziness of life, that was the thought of the day. I can safely say GOODNIGHT now!! :)

Maine Hermit Myth Hatched

Often between the hours of 8 and 10 when I work evenings, the store is absolutely dead and I'm pretty much alone and bored during these times. What do I do to relieve the bordom??? Google. I found the most interesting story that I will simple describe as the Maine Hermit Myth (also a link, you're welcome in advance). Basically, there is this guy who went unidentified for almost 30 years and decided to camp out secretly in the woods. For any needs and necessities, he took the Robin Hood method and stole from the rich (subjectively) and gave to the poor - himself, who had nothing.  After a while of seeing evidence to various break ins but absolutely no explanation behind them, this character became a legend that parents would tell their kids around the camp fire  to kind of spook them. I thought the most interesting part of this article is after he has been caught he explain to the police and post incarceration in a letter that, there was no need to keep track of days and months so his memory is by events. According to this guy, who identifies himself as Christopher, he segregated himself from society completely at the age of twenty after the Chernobyl event. He doesn't know the status on his family, he has never seen the internet, nor participating in legal activities such as having an address, or turning in tax returns. It just baffles me that a person can just fall through the cracks of society one day and become a myth the next, until his face surfaces and becomes a reality.

1st Day of School Reflection

Being in my final year as an undergrad, if there is one question that I get more often than not its along the lines of, "what do you want to do after college?" To which I would really like to reply that I just want to survive this crazy busy year first, and like to actually see my graduation. However, the more realistic answer is... oh, continue on with my education and get a masters degree, purely beause that's what people want to hear. I realized recently that I have been in school ever since I was three years old, I'm 21 now and to be quite honest, I don't want to attend any more school. My ultimate career goal is to find a job that truly makes me happy. Right now, I don't know what that job will be. I am way too in decisive in my current state of mind. Like I said prior, I just want to take my life one day at a time, right now with as busy as I am. Maybe that's not the smartest choice and I should have a plan, but I also believe that that is not for everybody. This year will be a major personal development year for me. Who knows, maybe I'll have answers in May. All I can say is good luck future self and at least you have your best friend, one true love, husband by your side, supporting any and all decisions you make!

ThredUP review/ haul

Do you really need new clothes, but are too cheap, like me, to pay mall prices for really nice, name brand clothing?? You're in luck because I recently stumbled upon this really cool website thredup.com and I have absolutely fell in love with it!!!

For real though, I needed business, professional clothes for my internship this upcoming semester and was pretty much at a loss when I started shopping around for deals that I would actually pay money for. Dress pants alone are easily $50 a piece, making me quite depressed to go shopping for once!! Then, one magical day, I was watching my usual YouTube line up when I had a thought.. "Hmmm, she gets a lot her kids clothes for super cheap through consignment events. I wonder if there is a such thing as an online consignment shop." Literally I typed into google "adult online consignment clothes" and wouldn't you know it, thredup was the very first thing to pop up!!

Here are my reasons why:

First outfit: The dress pants are Gap brand and I know they are made to wear very well, and they look and feel brand new off the shelf, for $5 it was just impossible to say no to even try them. The blouse, however, was very worn when I received it and tried it on, but nothing a mother's touch can't fix. The problem was that it hung way to low in the front as if it had been stretched out, but we simple sewed the sleeves up into a little ruffle and it fits like brand new again! Also, for the price its hard to say no just to try it on.

 Gray pants from gap for $5 paired with a black blouse from Ann Taylor for $8.50

Second Outfit: The Banana Republic pants are in great condition, flawless, again for $5, and will definitely last me. The Blouse I found for $8.50 brand new with tags still on it!!

Black Banana Republic pants paired with a forever 21 royal blue blouse decorated with sequins

Third Outfit: This dress I picked out for the end of summer/ beginning of fall heat. It doesn't allow for cleavage to show and go down to around knee length, but is still lightweight (perfect for a work environment). I wasn't 100% when I saw it online because it is a butterfly pattern, but in person the pattern is subtle enough that is just looks like a black and brown pattern.

Black and brown butterfly print dress for $12.50 from Maurices

Fourth Outfit: My one casual outfit for school, purely because I've ripped all my jeans! I really like the look of these "baseball t-shirts" plus this one is super soft! For the jeans, I was looking specifically for American Eagle brand because they have always fit and looked the best on me, unfortunately I was unaware they were short, not regulars :( on the bright side,  this gives me a chance to explore their return policy! Yay for positivity!

Blue and white top from express for $5.50 and American Eagle jeans on the bottom for $11.50

The best part about this purchase is that first orders receive 40% off! My total for all of these outfits before the discount was $56.43. The 40% took off 22.57. In the end, I only paid 33.86!!! This was absolutely a great bargain for great products. Also, I received an email only a few after after order that my items had been shipped and should arrive with in a week, which they arrived promptly! I would rate this with a 5 on a 5 star rating system (5/5).

"Nightingale" Interpretation

Some days are easier than other when coming up with ideas for blog topics (maybe I'm just lazy... IDK). Anyways I thought tonight I would just share a favorite song and why. It is called Nightingale by Demi Lovato and I initially fell in love with this song because of piano in background. Once I started actually listening to the lyrics I fell even more in love. My interpretation is that this is a person expressing their need for company. It's late at night, they have a restless mind shouting for someone to listen to their sorrows, wanting for someone to come along and calm their thoughts. This, of course, is just a short interpretation, but I would be interested in reading other opinions if there is anyone out there reading this that has any. (Below are the lyrics)

"Nightingale"

I can't sleep tonight
Wide awake and so confused
Everything's in line
But I am bruised
I need a voice to echo
I need a light to take me home
I kinda need a hero
Is it you?

I never see the forest for the trees
I could really use your melody
Baby I'm a little blind
I think it's time for you to find me

Can you be my nightingale?
Sing to me
I know you're there
You could be my sanity
Bring me peace
Sing me to sleep
Say you'll be my nightingale

Somebody speak to me
Cause I'm feeling like hell
Need you to answer me
I'm overwhelmed
I need a voice to echo
I need a light to take me home
I need a star to follow
I don't know

I never see the forest for the trees
I could really use your melody
Baby I'm a little blind
I think it's time for you to find me

Can you be my nightingale?
Sing to me
I know you're there
You could be my sanity
Bring me peace
Sing me to sleep
Say you'll be my nightingale

I don't know what I'd do without you
Your words are like a whisper cutting through
As long as you are with me here tonight
I'm good

Can you be my nightingale?
Feels so close
I know you're there
Oh, nightingale
Sing to me
I know you're there
'Cause baby you're my sanity
You bring me peace
Sing me to sleep
Say you'll be my nightingale

Picto-story

In preparation for this upcoming school year (still…), today was all about spring cleaning the apartment. My husband and I gave the ol’ apartment a hoe out and scrub down because I know I’m not going to have much time or energy to do this as often as I would like… So, with all day being dedicated to cleaning, I really was looking for something fun to do, and sometimes I like to get creative and make up stories. I found a random picture on pinterest that for one reason or another I felt there was a story behind and I wrote it out.
Here is the picture I chose today:


And here is the story I was feeling:
Little Olivia woke up one morning to her mother bustling about. In the meek and mild babbling voice of a three year old, “Good morning, mommy! What are you doing?”

With a delighted smile on her face, Claire resonpded to her darling daughter, “Good morning, honey. Today, after nap time, we are having Grandma, Grandpa, and all of your aunts, uncles and cousins come over for a little party, so mommy is busy getting everything ready.”

Olivia and Claire, both went about their busy days preparing for the party ahead. Claire, tidying and cleaning the house while baking and preparing dinner simultaneously. Olivia felt she needed the absolute best outfit to show off to her whole family. Her mother would occasionally pop her head into her daughter’s bedroom grinning from ear to ear at her daughter playing dress up and putting on a fashion show for her stuffed animals. On the other hand, this was serious business to Olivia. She just HAD to find the perfect outfit.

What Olivia doesn’t know, is she is about to become a big sister in a few weeks! The party is a gender relveal party for the family whether they are expecting a boy or girl.

“Oliviaaaa, it is time for your napp! And then when you wake up we’ll get you ready for the party!” Claire announced from down the hallway, and rounding the corner holding the most beautiful dress Olivia had ever saw. “Mommy!! Dress for meee?!!” squealed Olivia with excitement. “It sure is, but first nap time…”

It took a while for Olivia to settle down enough to actually nap as she was too excited for her party dress and for her family coming over.  Claire dressed Olivia in her brand new tutu dress as the doorbell rang and the first of many family member entered the doorway. Olivia just sat on the couch looking beautiful in her dress as she watched family mingle with each other, and acknowledge Olivia with her dress. She had been eyeing one present her mother recently placed on the cake and desserts table. In the back of her mind, Olivia was thinking… party, new dress, cake, presents… it must be a birthday party for me! This thought made Olivia even more excited but just wanted to play it cool like all of the other adults.

The mingling winded down and dinner was eaten when a sleepy Olivia was called over by her mother, who was now holding the present she had been eye-balling all night. Quickly, Olivia jumped up and ran over with a second wind of energy. For what seemed like a long time to the three year old, her mother gave a speech to the family, which Olivia zoned right out of (adult words were too much for her to take in). Until, her mother FINALLY gave her the okay to open the present. She ripped at the beautifully wrapped present, opened the package, and one lonely pink balloon crept out. Olivia’s face read disappointment, so her mother explained. “Olivia, honey, mommy and daddy are going to have a little baby sister for you.” She continues to explain that there is a baby growing inside of her tummy and presents her with all of these big sister books along with a t-shirt. A confused little Olivia politely asks for the balloon, to which her mother said yes and walks silently outside and kneels down with her balloon.

To me, this image is capturing the moment that little Olivia walks outside with the pink balloon, representing a baby sister, and sits in her party dress to debrief herself of the news.

Summer Bucketed List

Beginning of this summer, that feels like a lifetime ago, I heard of some people talking about their summer bucket lists. Basically just wanting to accomplish various summer activities before school starts up again. Then, I also heard of people keeping a "bucketed list" (in general) so instead of having a list of things you hope to check off in a life time, you keep track of things you have accomplished throughout your lifetime. I really liked the idea of a bucketed list, it takes off the pressure of meeting a "quota." With my last year of college approaching fast in T-minus 4 days, here is my summer bucketed list:
1. Participating in my first 5k - Color Run
2. Lots and lots of picnics!!
3. Going to a baseball game and having peanuts and beer
4. Reading books of my choice leisurely 
5. Visiting a Zoo for the day
6. Evening Ice Cream dates
7. Buying a camper and going camping/ doing all of the necessary camping activities - smores, campfires
8. Going boating late at night to look at the stars with beer/ go fishing
9. Attended my favorite musical - Mary Poppins!!
10. Went to our local Scandinavian Festival and saw a concert
11. Had Fair fun!
12. Of course ate lots of food
13. Last (although it happened first), but certainly not least, I got married to the love of my life and spent a whole week on vacation relaxing!!!
A summer doesn't get much better than that, can't wait for next year I hope it's even better!!!

ALS ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE

Hellllooooo!! I am in a great mood right now! Why? I was challenged roughly 20 hours ago to participate in the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. Now, unless you're living under a rock everyone at least knows what this challenge is because it has gone so viral sooo fast! I've seen it on the news, twitter, tumbler, YouTube,  and in my local newspaper. Best of all, it is super simple; I introduced myself, who challenged me, and who I now challenge (I went into more detail on my Facebook description).

As viral as this trend has gotten, I'm not too sure if people really understand what this is all about. Here's a little history lesson... The Ice Bucket Challenge wasn't just invented for ALS awareness. As a ware to raise awareness of various illnesses such as Cancer, pouring ice water over your head was a way of fund raising. However, the link between ALS and the ice bucket challenge is dated back to July 15 of this year by a golfer, Chris Kennedy, who (as a joke) nominated his wife's cousin to participate as it is her husband who actually suffers from the disease. She decided to participate and posted her video of herself the following day, nominating people also. Before they knew it BAM it went viral like cat videos on YouTube.

Unfortunately, I have also seen negative comments :( There's a meme of a little African boy next to a reporter with the caption, "So let me get this straight, you waste water on yourselves to raise money?" I understand the importance of water conservation, but this is just to have a little fun for a great cause. Think of it this way, instead of watering your plants for one day, use that water to participate in this viral charity event. Also, I have seen people create the misconception that dumping water over your head is the opt out for donating money. It originally began that the person participating it to donate at least $10 (of course that is your own choice) and as a forfeit for not completing the challenge within 24 hours, you must donate $100 to the cause.

I think this is a great way to get a ton of people across the world involved. It ends up being a quick 30 second video, making it a great way to raise money and awareness. This viral sensation has already raised over $15 million. I'm just really glad that i spent the extra couple of minutes to get involved!

Back2School Prep Anxiety

Social anxiety strikes again! Naturally, I am pulling together last minute school preparation, including clothes shopping for my internship. A "normal" person would probably be ecstatic about going shopping, and don't get me wrong I really do like shopping and browsing just from the comfort of my own house... This is probably the epitome of my antisocialness.

Today, I went to our teeny, tiny local mall in hopes to find something decent. There are about five stores for me to shop from in hopes of finding nice, work-worthy clothes for a good price. Here's the run down of my social anxiety mixed with shopping...

First place I went was old navy, I tend to find good deals and clothes that I'm looking for on the sale rack for really cheap. I walked in browsed the original prices items, slowly making my way to the back. When I get there, my brain goes blank, I don't remember what I'm doing because there is someone else standing in the section I need to browse through. I walked about looking at other things to clear my mind and decided to look else where until I could come back.

Next was The Bon Ton. This past spring I needed business attire for meetings I had in Albany for my school's research project and was able to find decent clothes here. The thing about this store that nerves me is that I don't understand where a 21 year old fits into their layout. The "mom" clothes are mixed in with the older lady attire and it confuses the crap out of me. I always walk the loop of this store scanning the contents of racks from a "safe distance" until I see something that might be appropriate for a young, professional look. No such luck today...

We have a Maurices, which does have a nice selection of the young, professional look that I am going for, but I ended up passing that one up because it intimidates me way too much (no particular reason - anxiety) plus I know they're high priced and not worth it. So, i moved right along to American Eagle, which was my go to place in high school and I have found decent tops that could be pulled off as professional. Styles sure have changed in the three years that I have been out of high school. I couldn't even causally browse my way to the back. I did the I'm-too-cheap-walk-of-shame to the sale rack, that ended up having nothing of interest to me.

My last stop was JcPenny's, where again I use my tactic of looking over the racks, but ending up confused with age group these clothes were targeting. I was feeling nervous and dissappointed so I left the mall empty handed (I didn't even walk into the game store!).

I did, however, stumble upon an online consignment shop for adults, and I found some really great deals that I'm super excited about.  I was really impressed with the website itself - thredup.com. As soon as the package comes in I intend on doing a full on review of this website's service.

Married with Commitment Issues?

I found it ironic (during one of my morning YouTube video and tea binges) one of my favorite YouTubers brought up the topic of commitment during her vlogging session. In a nut shell, she mentioned she was acknowledging how consistent she has been doing up vlogging and up loading, but wasn't promising a video the next day because she doesn't like to commit to things. While at the same time realizing she is very committed to her husband and child.

Basically, this topic has been on my mind for a few day because first, I have been trying hard to post on my blog everyday like I wanted to when I started blogging for a hobby at the beginning of summer and.. I HAVE OFFICIALLY BLOGGED EVERYDAY FOR 1 WEEK STRAIGHT. I know this may seem like a minor accomplishment, but this is huge for me and it takes me to where my brain went next on this commitment topic... Hello my name is Katie and I am a giver-uper. When I get a little stumped on something I just immediately give up. I admit there were nights this week that I got home late from work, I was tired, and had nothing on my mind I wanted to blog about, but I figured something out anyways. I hate committing to preordering books and music because it makes me anxious, how am I going to know that I will like the whole book or music?! I have to look/listen before I decided to spend money on it.  Finally, yes, I realize (like my Youtube-internet friend) even though I have commitment issues, I am VERY committed to my husband and love him dearly. Despite my insecurities, me marrying him makes me more comfortable than anxious, but this is due to a different 'Katie-ism' (as I like to call my little quirks).

I really like this evening wind down routine, ending with blogging, i got into this week.It calms me and I am officially challenging myself to (not commit to) continue to find some little bit in my life to reflect on and blog about. It's like a little time capsule :)

The Fault in our Stars

I read The Fault in our Stars at the beginning of the summer on vacation because I knew the movie was out soon, and I actually got around to seeing it in the theater before it was gone (normally I forget and then the movies I'm most anxious to see are gone). Anyways, ultimately my first reaction was; Augustus Waters is the Edward Cullen in this movie, which was kind of disappointing to my book imagination because I remember I picturing Augustus as a proper British boy. I know weird minor thought, but when you read the book before seeing the movie (or most of it like me) then you tend to notice the book to movie differences. Now, I know it’s not just me because the scheduled post movie fix your make up in the bathroom and complain session concludes my theories on the differences becoming blatantly obvious. Despite noticing these differences, my overall opinion of the film are that it was fantastically executed from the book – all of the important emotional parts were emphasized, which is what I think won over the crowd emotionally. I have to say that my favorite part was the scene of Hazel climbing the Anne Frank Museum stairs with the quotes from Anne’s book in the background, pointing out the parallelism between the pain Anne faced in the attic and Hazels physical pain. That scene was absolutely perfect!

I would rate this film with a 4 out of a 5 only for my personal opinion, and the reason why I held off for so long to post my personal feelings on the interweb... It is obvious the targeted audience for this film it tween/ teens, and from what I have read on the internet, often kids of this particular age group tend to think that puberty and adolescents is the end of the world. What makes this film even more depressing and emotional, in my eyes, is that it's a film that teens are going to fall in love with watching characters close in age they can relate to relationship wise and can admire/ look up to... until they die at a young age. Augustus die so young before his life even really gets to start. Now, I don't fault John Green (the author) it is an amazing book turned into an amazing movie, and I know there are different messages you could pull away from this, but my only change would be to give young kids a message that life does get better as you grow past the hard years of adolescence.

Cheers to the end of Summer!

It is official. Summer is over. I can physically see on my work schedule the change to accommodate the craziness of the upcoming semester. With one week till my senior year of my undergrad career coming fast, I am often asked (the usual question from family members and adults in general because they all think they’re so clever) if I am excited and ready/ prepared for the school year. **Face-palm** I really hate getting this question. Here is why… 1) Am I excited? Meh, I am going to be busy as hell working 40+ hours on top of being a full time student and extracurricular activities. HOWEVER there is one up-side, at my internship I will actually get to practice what I am taught in the classroom, so that will be refreshing. 2) Ready/ Prepared? Yes, I physically have my textbooks, paper, and pens, but how have begun to prepare myself for the school schedule? Oh, I stay up late on social media and play video game to early in the morning and sleep in until noon. That’s good Katie considering you have to be awake at 6am for most of the days and not be done until 10pm….cool.

Basically, I loved summer and got to do so many of my favorite activities, but I just am not quite ready to give it up yet. I feels like fall already, school is starting, and it is going to be a rough transition. Alas, it is time to come back to reality and be a responsible adult again

My Interpretation on the Internet

I live in a cyber land. The only thing outsiders looking in see are a zombie-eyed girl laying on the couch with a laptop three inches from her face. The best way to get her attention is to break the physical connection between human and machine. What these outsiders don’t understand is, this Cyberland is her safe haven. Morning and evening laptop time take her away from the real world for a couple of hours. In other words, the internet is her hobby. While some may take up knitting, crafting, hunting, or fishing; others find solace in social media. An outsider sees an introvert in its natural habitat, hiding behind the computer. Said “introvert” sees Cyberland as the opportunity to be whoever they aspire to be. Cyberlanders are more accepting to what may not be considered the “norm.” The community within Cyberland is not one just anyone can understand. Magical things happen within Cyberland and beyond – dreams and friendships galore, and outsiders do not have the capability to see this magic. Cyberland is to Diagon Alley as Outsiders are to Muggles. Outsiders are too blind to see the magic and accept what is going on behind the screens of Cyberland.
That is all :)

SOCIAL AWKWARDNESS/ ANXIETY

To whom it may concern,
My name is Katie and I have self-diagnosed myself with social anxiety. Come college years I have realized how bad it actually is. I can’t remember much of middle school as I have chosen to repress those horribly embarrassing memories. However, once I got myself in a nice comfortable friend group, high school was okay within this close niche where my weirdness was accepted. It wasn’t until college that I really felt my social anxiety sink in. I WAS NO LONGER IN MY COMFORT ZONE, and that TERRIFIED me. i chose to hang out off campus with someone I was more comfortable, but it with lead me to marrying the man I adore today. So, I can’t really complain about my utterly horrid college experience it really was my own fault. Due to the fact that I either spent most of my time in class or texting, skyping, and hanging out with him; I missed out on a huge part of “the college experience.” I like casual drinking, but the whole bar and party scene just wasn’t for me and as far as college guys go, I did give it a go, but they were weird and made me super anxious (go figure). Here I am today, three years into my college career on summer vacation and I'm contemplating my social anxiety.
From,
the thoughts and the feels

Dear freshmen, 18 year old self,
I would really encourage you to, not change, but find a constructive way to get over your social anxiety and awkwardness, such as I (future self) have now, through my words on this pointless blog, and remember to always finding a positive even when your situation may seem in the absolute dumps.
Love,
Future self

To whom it may concern,
If you too are suffering a similar situation of social anxiety that is leading you down a path of isolation, I challenging you to find a creative outlet like I have with casual writing, and to embrace your awkwardness.

(ON A LESS SERIOUS NOTE) If your parents are challenging you to get off the computer and get some fresh air, get in your car (if you can drive/ have a car or just walk), roll down your window, and surround yourself within your music (blare your headphones). This way you are getting the fresh air your parents are requesting while being in the comfort of your own space. If your parents are desperate enough to get you out of the house, you can bribe them with money and that way the gas you’re wasting is paid for by the parental units.
YOU’RE WELCOME :)

Who am I?

"I don't know" is the easiest way to describe myself in three words. High school seemed as though it was all about survival and fitting in, and now that I have successfully graduated. I have also distanced myself from just about anything and everyone associated with high school in the past three years. I am feeling more confident in discovering who I actually am. Now, I've noticed I say the phrase, "I don't know" more times during the day that I can count and I say it because I really just don't have a clue about life sometimes. To be quite honest with my self, I have various passions that make me happy... writing, blogging, YouTube, video games. Not many people are even aware of my hobbies. I'm kind of too scared to fully open up to the people closest to me in fear of what they will say or how they will judge me.

If there is anyone else is out there reading this feeling as though they are in a similar situation, sitting in limbo trying to figure out your happiness and need a friend for reinforcement or to wallow in self pity with, we can work it out together!